It’s been a long time since I published last. Guess it’s been the longest break in writing until now. Well… the winter period was somewhat both dully and busy and after the spring arrived, I found myself in a very though moment in my life. Two months of lost motivation, lack of will and power to do anything, sadness creeping in to every corner of my body and regular headaches. I was heavy, as if I had to swim an ocean of lead every day to make it through and finally reach the closure of it by jumping into bed.
The signs were obvious. My whole body was sending a message. Finally, I had to make some decisions, to change something not to drown in this ocean of sorrows. And so I did. After talking to some good friends, calculating my losses and profits, thinking every day of what do I really want and how do I want it, I made a first step forward.
I haven’t really decided what will I do but I have decided what I would like to try and what do
I definitely don’t want. It wasn’t easy and it cost me a deal of tears. But it was also purifying. Suddenly it felt like I lost this additional weight
I was carrying. And what’s the most important – it made me feel good. For the first time in… ha,
I don’t even remember…
Letting go wasn’t easy but it was definitely worth it. For the sake of my well-being, for my body and soul. Now I know that I have to withstand a little bit more, bite my teeth, do my best. And after that new possibilities will show up, a new adventure will start (even if it’s not really meant to be adventurous), a new life.
I understood one very important thing.
Letting go doesn’t make you weak or worthless. It makes you happy.
You have to have the courage to move forward. After all, happiness is all that counts in life, isn’t it?